When it is what it is . . .

Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch (Oct. 23, 1960 – July 25, 2008) gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium.  Pausch had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was told he only had a few months to live. In his moving presentation, “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams,” Pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals.   His story is about accepting what is and living as fully as you can into that reality.  

The beginning of peace for me was accepting that my spouse had a sexual addiction and was not at a point where he was going to chose to heal.  Accepting that reality, helped me begin to live into that reality and that was empowering.   Finding out about your spouse’s sex addiction may feel like you’ve hit a brick wall in your life in creating the life you want for yourself and your children, if you have any.  Accepting that it is what it is will give you the agility to leap over the wall and create what you want to create with your one precious life..

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people!”
Randy Pausch
[The Last Lecture (2007)]

I’ve got it that leaping over the wall doesn’t feel safe because you don’t know what you’re leaving behind and you’re not sure what awaits you on the other side of the wall, but as Pausch said, “Sometimes the only safe thing is to take a chance.”