Going home a different way

Laurie and granddog Shiraz, November 2012

When my marriage ended, there wasn’t one thing in my life left untouched.  I lost family and friends. I lost my home. I lost business opportunities since the groups I was working with at the time were largely faith-based and they felt a divorce was a “bad testimony”, even though a number of them privately told me they could understand the reasons for my divorce.  

Trying to get my financial feet under me at time when I could hardly think straight, I moved eight times in five years–six times renting a room in someone’s house and twice living in a basement.  I was thrilled when I was finally able to rent an apartment.  It  was so small when I had friends in for dinner after they were inside and the door was closed, I had to re-arrange the furniture  so I could seat everyone, but I didn’t mind–I had my “own place” again. 

After always living my life with a feeling of a strong relationship with God, I spent eight years plunged into a dark night of the soul where I felt like I couldn’t find God anymore.  A year and a half ago, I emerged from the spiritual wilderness into a transformed faith. I’ve come home a different way.

Yep.  NOT A THING LEFT UNCHANGED. 

I’m not going to do you a disservice by pretending rebuilding your life after the end of a long term marriage, especially when you’re dealing with the trauma of sexual addiction, isn’t hard because it sure seemed like a lot of work to me.  If you have more supportive family, it may take you

I love my window boxes!

much less time to get back on your feet.  AND, here I am.  

I now own my own home.  YES!  I never thought I’d be able to buy a home again.  But, after 12 years of living pillar to post, I signed a deal on a sweet little house in a beautiful, historic village along a river and began unpacking the boxes that had been in storage for so long.

It’s so wonderful to have my own little bit of heaven again and spend time puttering with my window boxes and taking care of the flowers in my backyard.  I love my big kitchen and my light-filled living room.

Certain important family relationships that were broken after my divorce are better than ever.  Some are still broken.  After a long time of feeling brokenhearted about that, I’ve decided to be at peace with where loved one’s are in their own journeys.  I know that eventually our paths will cross again in a time and place where there can be more listening and less judgment.

The present is always perfect and perfectable.

I’m so happy to have a big kitchen where loved ones can gather!

Every night when I go to bed, I spend time feeling grateful for where my journey has taken me and for all the ways I have been guided, especially during times when I’ve felt completely lost.  I’m especially grateful for those who have inspired me by the way they’ve taken on their own series of unfortunate events.

When I was utterly discouraged and wondering if I could possibly go on and make anything of my life, I watched or read about these people over and over.  Their courage to continue on gave me courage to continue on.  Some of their stories are in this section.  I hope you find them as inspiring as I do.  If you have stories you think should be included, please let me know.

What I’ve learned and what those featured in the Inspiration section of this website model is whatever obstacles are in our path to peace and joy will certainly have to be dealt with, but if we make our focus what we want to see happen, rather than what we’re afraid is going to happen, we will be traveling past those obstacles on a journey that has vistas that make our hearts soar and takes us places we hardly dared dreamed we could go.  Click here to get inspired.

Keep going, Dear Ones, you’re doing all the right things.  icon-heart